Anatomy of the awkward worship clap

Anyone who has been to a modern evangelical worship service knows what I’m talking about. You got your worship band up front. The worship leader probably has a v-neck on. He’s young and hip, and all the girls in the congregation will sign up to tear down the stage just so they can be closer to him, and all the guys simultaneously have man crushes and hatred directed towards him. They scoff at his skinny jeans, but wish they could play guitar and sing like him. He’s just so darn talented. You’re not sure what hairstyle he’s going for (a combination of a faux hawk and messy get out of bed hair) but you like it. He’s got some tats too, but not too many. Maybe some Hebrew words, or Latin, but no cliché verses. They’re obscure and a good conversation starter.

The song starts out. It’s very upbeat. Maybe the drums kicked it off without accompanying music so the congregation can get a feel for the rhythm. The worship leader starts bobbing his head awkwardly on stage. Someone sitting towards the back starts to clap with the beat. The worship leader takes his cue. Before he starts strumming the same 4 chords over and over for the next five minutes, he starts clapping his hands, encouraging the congregation to do the same. The female vocalist chuckles with a nervous smile and reluctantly goes along and closes her eyes, either to focus more on the worship, or to avoid the hundreds of eyes who are staring at her awkwardly clap on stage. There’s nowhere to hide behind the microphone and she can’t actually clap since on hand is holding on to the mic. The music itself starts as the rest of the band joins in. The clapping has spread to the whole congregation. They’re enthusiastic, but there’s not much room to move in the rows of seats so they’ll sway from side to side like an awkward 13 year old at a middle school dance or bob their shoulders. There are some stoic men who have their arms crossed, but even they can’t resist nodding their heads up and down or at least tapping their feet. It must be the work of the Spirit. The Chris Tomlin/Matthew West/Hillsong/Michael W Smith/(insert other mainstream CCM artist here) song is a crowd favorite.

“Sing it out!” the worship leader says and he begins verse one. He’s no longer clapping (those four same chords aren’t going to strum themselves).  The clapping slowly dies down in the verse, but when that chorus hits, the clapping picks up full speed. But then you realize, your arms are getting tired, and your palms are a little sore. This song is longer than you remember. And the band added 4 musical interludes between each verse. The worship leader starts repeating the chorus, saying “sing that again!” Probably because he needs to buy more time so he can remember how the next verse starts. Either the lyric screen is broken, or PowerPoint has frozen up again. It’s verse 3 and the clapping has almost ceased except for the enthusiastic elderly woman sitting in the front. Then it’s time for the bridge. The clapping finds new life as the instruments drop out and the worship leader says, “just the voices now!”

The chorus repeats for what seems like the 40^th time. But that drummer is so energetic and the lead guitarist is strumming so hard. He’s jumping up and down too. They don’t seem to notice that the claps have died down once more. The song starts to close, and the rhythmic clapping turns into actual applause. Who are they applauding? The band, themselves for making it through the song? The whole service as a whole? The correct answer, as the worship leader knows, is for Jesus, so he tells them, “Yeah! Put your hands together for Jesus! Amen!” The drummer is doing some free styling until he makes eye contact with the guitarists and they end together on one resolving chord. The band members wipe some sweat from their brows. He gives some quick announcements about the upcoming week and says a quick prayer. Hopefully it’s quick because you’re feet are tired from standing and you really have to pee. And you can’t be fidgety when you go up to talk to that attractive girl you’ve been eyeing across the row. You weren’t going to say hi, but that song, somehow, gave you the confidence you needed. It must have been all that clapping.